Trust- The Foundation for Growth
I have been pondering what topic to kick off my new blog journey. I opened my journal up that my wonderful friends at Igniting Change had gifted me and the first blank page I flicked to was opposite a quote from the changemaker Carla Raynes- the founder of Bridge It- a Melbourne based charity supporting 17-21 year olds exiting out of home care. The quote “You can’t get on your feet until you have a stable base” immediately made me think of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs(which is a topic in itself) the concept of trust also came to mind and so it is the topic for my first blog.
Our existence is not linear- how we show up in the workplace is heavily influenced by our personal lives and vice versa. Despite our capacity to adapt, our work selves and personal selves are interrelated. When we are stressed in either area it ripples throughout and when both areas are causing stress, the impact can be disastrous. Our experiences shape who we are as a leader, lover, parent, friend and general human being.
How we show up relates to our foundations. Trust is a fundamental must have in all relationships in order to create safety, foster open communication, make mistakes, challenge ideas and work through our personal challenges to step into our confidence.
Trust impacts almost all relationships and social interactions. When we show up to new relationships we carry with us our lifetime of experiences, and this includes how we show up in the workplace. We are in a time when psychological safety in the workplace is legislated. Whilst workplace culture has long been recognised as a driver of organisational performance, the concept of psychologically safe workplaces is something relatively new. I won’t delve into creating psychologically safe workplaces just yet however in order to have safe workplaces and relationships, there must be trust.
Many employees confuse workplace culture with psychological safety. I know I did until my curiosity led me to explore why I was working in a workplace where the organisational values (on paper) strongly aligned to mine yet I felt so misaligned working there. It took me on a journey of self discovery.
Our experiences - both professionally and personally- significantly impact how we show up to relationships. It is our responsibility to be aware how another person’s experiences, and how our own influences any given situation. We must start with a solid foundation of trust to feel brave enough to operate in alignment with our values, make mistakes, champion our causes and engage in healthy dialogue even when our opinions differ or when we are scared to show vulnerability.
I think of my various roles as a parent, friend, colleague, employee, leader and daughter. According to research (Hancock et al 2023) “Trust exerts an impact on essentially all forms of human relationships. It affects individuals in deciding whether and how they will or will not interact with other people…trust is one of the principal forces which brings society together”.
With such a need for connection in society, trust is a fundamental need.
I reflect on the concept of trust in my own life. I was privileged to be raised in a family where trust was present, however as a wayward adolescent of the 90s, the absence of the full truth was a given…”Hey Mum…we are all staying at Allie’s” as opposed to “Hey Mum….we are all staying at Allie’s…. however we are going to get some random strangers to buy us alcohol to drink down the beach before we actually stay there”. Pretty sure that approach would not fly back then however the foundations of trust in our family meant that when the really terrible stuff happened, I could go to my parents.
My approach to parenting may be seen as slightly loose, however it is absolutely founded on trust because I believe this creates safety. “Hey Mum…I’m drinking this weekend at the party” invites harm reduction and safety planning conversations and I absolutely trust that they would call me if they ever needed me.
My friendships have been founded on a solid foundation of trust, many since early adolescence. This has allowed me to let them pick me up from the bottom of the shower at my most vulnerable and in return they have allowed me into their lives when their worlds are crashing down. Something I am forever grateful for.
My intimate relationships however have not been as solid in the area of trust. In an effort not to get too raw and real in my first blog, I will park this one for later.
My work with community over twenty years has also shaped my experience of trust. I have seen countless times where someone’s foundations of trust have been shattered time and time again..ironically we then see them show up in a system that expects them to immediately trust and also repeatedly fails them.
By the time we reach the workplace you can see how our personal experiences will shape how we show up and how we trust our colleagues, teams and leaders. We enter the workplace with either a base level of trust, or distrust. It is our role as leaders to create an environment where trust can be catalysed for growth, psychological safety and subsequently an employees overall wellbeing.
I have had both types of experiences in the workplace….leaders who have trusted me wholeheartedly, who have made it safe for me to make mistakes, grow, learn and thrive. I cannot express my gratitude to these leaders who shaped who I am as a person and as a leader. I have also had leaders who have come close to undoing all of the work of the trust setting leaders.
In striving to be a leader who facilitates environments of trust, I have explored what I personally feel are elements that have fractured my trust. Despite my desire to always approach things from a strengths perspective, I struggled to articulate what builds trust…however I could easily identify what fractures it for me when it comes to someone's behaviour….
speaking negatively of others
breaking someone else’s confidence in my presence
acting in misalignment with what they preach
taking kudos for something another has done
circling back to my mistakes or deficits without providing opportunities for growth and development
being inconsistent in their actions or presentation
asserting a position and acting incongruent.
using someone’s vulnerability as a weapon
As a leader it is our responsibility to explore our experiences of trust, how we show up for our teams and how our personal experiences shape our professional relationships. It is also imperative that we provide safety in our professional relationships that invite vulnerability without fear. I once had a new manager open our first supervision session with “I think we might step on each other’s toes”. Whoa!! Unwittingly that just created a completely unsafe environment for me in a time when I was at a place of heightened vulnerability. They were not to know the disastrous impact this comment could have, I don’t think it was intended as I perceived it however the damage was done.
As I leader I reflect on times that I have not created safety when it was paramount. We are all human and the key to our growth is realising this and committing to doing better. Rupture and repair.
The foundation of trust is integral in living, loving and leading. It is as essential to humanity as connection itself because this is where connections become meaningful. It is how we can test ideas and boundaries, how we can innovate and thrive and how we can lead others to do the same
So in order to be the change in a world where society is flooded with fear and reasons why we shouldn’t trust anyone or anything, we must create environments in our personal and professional worlds where trust is at the core. To do this we must be brave, dig deep and first explore what our experiences of trust are and how this shapes how we show up in love, life and leadership. Then we must do the work to establish or re-establish the foundations of trust in our relationships. There is a wealth of resources out there to help us to this work however starting with the basics is simple;
Be true to your word
Communicate effectively
Know that building trust takes time
When you don’t have the answer, say you don’t have the answer and then go and find the answer
Trust others
Demonstrate boundaries
Be honest, always
Support others
Do what you believe is right, even when no one is watching
Admit mistakes
Practice emotional intelligence
Share the load..delegating to others creates a culture of trust
Invite hard conversations
Own your mistakes, apologise and repair
These things seem simple yet come with challenges however the most important step is recognising that trust is something that we have the continuously strive for in our relationships. Just like food, water, warmth and rest are foundational needs, trust is a foundational need for meaningful connection shaping how we move from surviving to thriving in how we live, lead and love.